I always feel like I ought to try to make it out to these “Twin Tech” events for professional reasons but dear God, if an evil genius designed a venue with the goal of driving me to shoot myself in the face, they’d come up with something like this place. Would anyone with a scintilla of actual taste or style really be caught dead at a place tacky enough to explicitly remind patrons they should “dress to impress”? Just looking at the Web site makes me want a shower. If the target crowd for these events is 1,500 people who can walk into this joint without suppressing a gag reflex, at least I can be confident I’m not missing anything.
Addendum: Yeah, that last line was unfair: As organizer Peter Corbett notes, there are only so many places in DC that can host 2,000 carousers for an evening. My snark is aimed at the venue, not the event.
As long as I’m amplifying, though, let me offer up a more general rule of thumb: the Poochie Principle. The Poochie Principle holds that the extent to which the marketing material for a place or product feels compelled to browbeat you with assertions that it is “sophisticated” or “cutting-edge” or “stylish” or “hip” varies inversely with its actual manifestation of any of these traits. Note that the single most common place to find 3 or more of these adjectives in conjunction appears to be in condo listings.