Julian Sanchez header image 2

photos by Lara Shipley

Found Objects

December 22nd, 2006 · 11 Comments

gardentool.jpg

About 20 minutes ago, I was sitting up in my room doing some reading, when down in the kitchen there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Not, alas, Santa, but some prospective burglar in a green coat who’d apparently managed to loudly knock over my housemate’s bike within moments of entering. He was scared off when I came barreling down the stairs, and gave a hearty “Fuck you!” ere he fled out of sight. He did, however, leave behind the charming little implement pictured above, which I guess he’d put down momentarily when I surprised him. At any rate, I assume that’s the only reason it’s sitting on my dining room table rather than buried in my skull.

Blogging on topics of more general interest to resume after I’ve gotten a cup of coffee and smoked half a pack of cigarettes.

Tags: Washington, DC


       

 

11 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Ryan // Dec 22, 2006 at 5:02 pm

    Jeez, I wish I had been similarly intimidating a couple years ago. Nice job, Julian.

  • 2 thia // Dec 22, 2006 at 9:08 pm

    well apparently your green santa is a serious gardner and left you an antiquated hoe cultivator combo tool. Ugly Tools sells a $25 modern day version and didn’t say anything about brain excavation as a permitted use. It is a versitile tool though and can be used for simple weeding or some really serious hoeing including cutting roots and breaking up hard-packed soils…also quite good for digging trenches, which may come in handy metaphorically when you have a strongly unwavering opinion on something. DC smoking ban persay? :)

  • 3 Jane Galt // Dec 22, 2006 at 10:31 pm

    Was he wearing gloves? If not, call the police. They just caught my burglar because he left fingerprints all over the place.

  • 4 Julian Sanchez // Dec 23, 2006 at 12:01 am

    Jane-
    Yeah, I did. They apparently got some good prints off the handle of that charming little implement, so I guess we’ll see.

  • 5 Neil the Ethical Werewolf // Dec 23, 2006 at 12:20 am

    When libertarians manage to ward off criminal activity through their own efforts, do they feel a special pride in usurping the function of the state that other people do not?

  • 6 Julian Sanchez // Dec 23, 2006 at 1:58 am

    No, they mostly just feel rattled.

  • 7 fling93 // Dec 23, 2006 at 2:09 am

    Sheesh, I’m glad your skull is still intact!

  • 8 Adrienne Aldredge // Dec 23, 2006 at 2:13 pm

    Julian, I know the location is great and all, but seriously, it’s time to move. By my count, this is the third break-in the Casa has had. Despite being inhabited by good people, it’s clear that it’s cursed.

  • 9 Kriston // Dec 23, 2006 at 9:04 pm

    So sorry to hear. Care to borrow a dog security system from the Flophouse?

  • 10 Barry // Dec 24, 2006 at 10:31 pm

    Well, best wishes for future peace of mind. And kudos for getting the police in, to pull prints. Hopefully, somewhere down the road, that guy will find out that those prints still match the ones on his fingers.

  • 11 Chris // Jan 6, 2007 at 10:35 pm

    Somehow I’m thinking that it just feeds their anger at the state. You know. “Damn state! With all the inprovements in technology, plus wiretapping everything except my toilet, couldn’t they get some people over sooner!! AAAGH! They might as well buy me beer with the tax money. Then I’ll be so uninhibited, I’d kill any jackass who tried to enter.”