I’m with Julian; to [pretend to] dodge when directly asked where you went to school is tiresome– and often seems like a desperate attempt to make someone ask again, “Oh, what school?” so as to give the H-bomb greater force.

Anyway, I admit that my point is context-dependent. In many settings, it would indeed be obnoxious to assume that everyone is in awe of a Harvard education. But I was thinking of the people that I have come across — many of whom are quite intelligent and who, given different life circumstances, could have ended up at a place like Harvard — who really do seem to treat you differently if you identify as a Harvard graduate. They seem to have this mythical view wherein Harvard students are either WASPy snobs, or else geniuses (a la Good Will Hunting). All of a sudden, they say, “Hahvahhhd — wow, you must be pretty smart.” Or, “Hey, you’re the Harvard guy, you should know the answer to this [question about whatever].” (Both are true examples.) Letting on that you went to Harvard really can be a conversation killer.

I can’t speak for Wilkinson but my own discomfort came from an aversion to bragging, I don’t like it in other people and try to avoid any tendencies I have for that crap. I stopped giving the Boston answer because it quickly became apparent that it was far worse than just giving a matter-of-fact, straight forward response. It encourages the person to ask where in Boston so now you have a buildup that makes it sound like a bigger deal when you finally tell them.

I think this phenomenon is the reason a lot of people enjoy giving the Boston answer, its a license to brag while making it seem like the other person dragged it out of them. Now, if I am in a situation with someone who didn’t go to college and appears kind of insecure after telling him/her I am a lawyer, then I will usually lie and say I went to a state law school. I’ve run into this kind of thing getting my hair cut or talking to someone at a poker table. This doesn’t happen often but sometimes it really is easier to lie.

Harvard is a loaded term and carriers a lot of baggage with it (the vast majority of that baggage is good). However, there is no reason in the world to give the Boston answer. Either tell them where you went and get the conversation past it or lie but saying “in Boston” instead of a school is the most offensive and chickenshit option.

But their post-school networking is far superior to the other schools, and I’ve seen that elevate some of the GWBs to positions they would otherwise never have achieved. Still, that’s just one way to get promoted beyond your abilities among many. There are lots of semi-irrelevant factors going into judging talent: the proportion of women in orchestras skyrocketed after they began using blinds in auditions, so the appearance of the person was not a factor.

So while I don’t doubt there are a few situation As, there are a number of situation Bs: Amber may underestimate the thin-skinnedness of Ivy League grads to comments about their choice of education. Note it was another Ivy Leaguer who complained in her example. That complaint is clearly situation B.

(But I didn’t go to school in Boston, so who knows?)